“A LOT can change in 10 years... In 2010 I came back from living in Austin, and promised myself that things would change... I thought a new city, a post-grad program, a different job (etc etc) was the magic answer. But things got worse...and worse...and worse...because the answer was to look inwards, not changing the external things around me. And I didn't know how to do that yet. A message to my younger self (inspired by @thebalancedfit):
▪️Ask for help - those things that you keep stuffing down inside need to be looked at, and you don't need to do it alone.
▪️You have soooo many people who love you, and will still be there for you even though you have messed up over and over again.
▪️That moment you thought the world was falling down around you (6/6/13), was actually the beginning of the rest of your life. Treatment and sobriety is the biggest gift because you will get your life back. Things needed to completely break in order to be put back together in the right spaces and it will take time.
▪️There are others who have gone through some of the things you have gone though - you will find them and they will become your people.
▪️You don't have to be perfect. No one is, and once you realize this a weight will lift off of you.
▪️You will have fun living sober - you will have experiences you never thought possible.
▪️Love will come...be patient and focus on yourself. Those who thought you were "too much" or "not enough" were lessons. He will show up once you have done the work on yourself.
▪️Maybe don't go to that party....yeah...that one....
▪️Take things a day at a time, you don't need to have your whole life figured out because you aren't in the driver seat. Get out of your own way.
▪️ Eventually you will be able to put your head on the pillow and go to sleep without replaying all of the things in your head. Forgive yourself.
▪️ You will love yourself.⠀
xo Kelsi #hereforhealth