On Reclaiming Exercise
Thoughts from our Founder, Rachel:
I thought I would share something I’ve been working on. I’m an athletic person & I enjoy playing sports for pleasure. I also love trainers and I enjoy sweating & pushing my body and building strength. Currently, I’m sitting doing school ALL DAY . I kept forcing myself to randomly go run once a week (like I was able to in my early 20s) and shockingly (NOT): it was a struggle. I continued to force myself to do it & I wouldn’t get the result I wanted, and I would beat myself up. “Why am I so out of shape? Why am I so worthless? Why can’t I just do a quick run like I was used to?” I shared this with my sister, and she said, “Why aren’t you challenging your belief of fitness, like you did with diet culture, and body image?” Oh… right 🤯 Diet culture tells us foods are bad and good and if our revenge body is like Adele’s, then we “did it” (even though we don’t know HOW that weight loss happened). Until I was 27, my life was exhausting. I was constantly planning what was “ok” to eat, skipping meals, missing out on plans with family and friends because of food, drinks and possible WEIGHT GAIN. Then of course if I did “splurge”, I would start the cycle of shame, cut out carbs and spend hours running or working out. FINALLY, I started challenging what diet culture keeps telling us we should look like. I surrendered. I stopped waiting to value my body 10 or 15 pounds lighter. I got out of a toxic situation that put an unhealthy focus on body size and appearance. I didn’t need to eat chips in shame anymore. Now it’s my time to challenge my previous notions of exercise: “How do I WANT to move my body? Why can’t I just take walks breaks on my runs if need be and stop judging myself?” I went for a run and walked a few times when I needed to. I took Banff for a walk and ended up running a bit because it felt GREAT and I WANTED TO. I do not need to value my fitness through the completion of a run. Maybe I’ll be able to do it easily again, maybe I won’t. It’s time to be aware of these old beliefs and notions and to challenge them. Because between us, it’s LIBERATING 🙏🏼 #bodyacceptance
- Rachel, Founder